Pembroke Place

Blog 28 Jun 2021
140

(To the tune of Blank Space by Taylor Swift)

Returning traveller, where you been?

You can show me incredible things

Red eye, sore knee, painful weeing

Saw you there and I thought

Oh my god, look at that face

Reiter’s triad with uveitis

Well-travelled clinic, welcome in

 

New discharge, NAAT positive signs

PCR’ll read you like a magazine

Ain’t it funny, rumours fly

But GUM clinic can solve your mystery

So hey, let’s be friends

We wanna see how this one ends

Grab your swab in your hand

We can get you answers before the weekend

 

It doesn’t need to be forever

You can get a one-stop shot

Of Azithromycin or

7-day Doxy course

Got a long list of ex-lovers

We’re not ju-udg-ing

So have safe sex and get STI screens

And live healthily

 

We treat people of all ages

and Axcess ain’t too far

If we need to refer you

for that rash that’s palmo-plantar

Got a long list of ex-lovers

We’re not ju-udg-ing

And Syphilis is very treatable

With Penicillin G

 

Lake Malawi, crystal skies

Bilharzia in the summer heat

Exposed skin, attracted cercariae

Oh my god, what a perfect host

Attach, tail-off and migrate

Lungs to blood then to gut

Wait the itch is yet to come (oh no)

 

TB, HIV, cytokine storms

IRIS can make all the tables turn

Para-doxical reactions with immune return

Keep you second guessing like

“Is this enlargement a reverse IRIS or have we missed the diagnosis?”

Thank goodness for LSTM expertise

Cause HIV’s Hickam’s dictum dressed like Occam’s razor

 

Hyperinfection all over

Larva currens erupting in flames

Beware steroid treatment

In Strongyloides with TBM

Got your long list of fresh waters

With white-water rafting insane

But you’ve now got Katayama fever

And acute Schisto is to blame

 

We treat people of all ages

Before your travels afar

Backpacking a malarious area?

ABCD is a star

You’ve got a long list of travel prophylaxis

It all seems insane

But come to Pembroke Place and then we’ll

Get you on that plane